Sunday, July 6, 2008

freedom cake jam

36 ice cream sandwiches
3 80z tubs Cool Whip
1 jar hot fudge
2 large (6 serving) boxes instant chocolate pudding mix
30 oreos
freedom flakes.

note: this is a tripled version of an original recipe that came in a junk mail magazine from kraft foods. it was the best piece of junk mail we have ever received.

1. in a bowl combine three generous cups of cool whip with a normal sized jar of hot fudge and stir until you have a light and fluffy chocolate cool whip.

NOTE: my grandmother may have invented chocolate cool whip, though there is no documentation to prove this. It should be noted however that decades ago, she had a vision and started pouring chocolate syrup into cool whip containers and mixing it together for an even better version of the original. We salute you Lois, and the freedom of mind that makes you a true dessert visionary.

2. once cool whip is chocolatified, mix in the pudding mix, followed by two dozen crushed up oreo cookies. - easiest way to crush em it to put them all in a ziplock back and then just mash em up with your hands. - mix it all together for awhile. its going to get thick, its going to start to hurt your wrist, but its going to get all delicious like this:

2.5. if the mixture gets too thick, pour in some milk. that will also help the pudding mix from being too crispy, which is a weird mouth feel.

3. it helps to have a helper at this point cause it is about to get hectic, and you just don't need that sort of stress. get one box of ice cream sandwiches out, and lay them end to end - we did 12 across here:

4. as soon as the first layer is down, start laying on a way thick coating of the fudge mixture. you want to use about half of it for this layer - if you are smart, your co-captain is already unwrapping the second layer of sandwiches, and as those go down you put on a second layer of the fudge. finally you top that with a THIRD layer of ice cream sandwiches:

5. this thing is huge and melty, right? you're almost there though, keep your eyes on the prize kid. you should have some cool whip left, now is when you use all of it to cover the outside of the cake:

6. wrap that thing in foil and very carefully move it to your freezer. you should probably have prepared ahead here and made a bunch of room in your freezer so that you can fit all this in there.
(also seen in freezer, chocolate chip waffles (see earlier jam), new italian flavored chik patties, veggie cakes, vegan riblets (major ingredient in award winning vegan chili), klondike bars '07, fresh direct olive pizza, soft pretzels, ice)

7. it is now the next day. did i tell you to prepare this a day ahead? i should have. sorry about that. also, the next steps work best if you happen to both a. live in america and b. be celebrating your nation's independence - though if you change the color of sprinkles you can probably celebrate any nation's independence in style with this cake.

anyway - crush the remaining oreos on top and then sprinkle with the rainbow of freedom:

this feeds about 30? not really sure. if you are lucky there is some left over. cut it thin, and you might get lucky and have some to eat when everyone goes home.

also, the thin slice is fine for showing off the best part of this, which is the mega intense cross section (from the bottom up: cookie, ice cream, cookie, fudge filling, cookie, ice cream, cookie, fudge filling, cookie, ice cream, cookie, cool whip, toppings) :

if done properly, ever bite is an Ultimate Morsel (tm)

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